Ladies and gentleman.. Presenting..

Selepas 29 tahun aku hidup, akhirnya semalam aku berjaya..

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Wooooohhhhhooooooooooooo.......!!! Aiiiittttt.. Aku tak kompel and aku tak cabut sticker and tampal balik, ait? Ni buktinya..

Ye betul.. Aku ambik gambar setiap step.. ;)
See.. Still tunggang langgang..

Almost there..

Almost.. Nampak tak sticker dia still ok?
And takde yang tercongkel kompel?

And yes!!! Ladies and gentleman.. The winner is..

Lepas dah siap, aku tak puas hati, suruh roommate aku tunggang langgangkan dia balik. Aku belum bole lagi nak serabutkan dia. That's why aku tak pernah beli sendiri Rubik's cube ni sebab end up tak keluar kotak nanti. Ni pun aku curi dari adik aku. Selingan coz I just submitted my assignment. So before I start to crash my head on the next one I need a break. So semalam smpai 4 pagi aku excited sorang2 main benda ni. Dari kecik aku try. Now I can say that my childhood dream has completed. Lihat dunia, I am complete.. Hahaha.. NEXT!!!

By the way, last week I watched Phantom of the Opera.. Superb, amazing!

Brilliant.. But somehow I think Puteri Gunung Ledang lagi superb.. Hmm.. Kalau Tiara dengar ni mesti dia gumbira..

EQ? Ya right..

Anyone can become angry - that is easy.
But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree,
at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way -
this is not easy.

- Aristotle -

Hmm.. Aristotle is right.. It is not easy. But how do we know who is the right person, when is the right time and what is the right way? Human is one complicated creature. If only we come with a manual. If only I have the power to read people's mine. If only I have the power to control myself. If only I have the power to control the situation. 'If only..', one of the greatest mind killer..

Situation..

Another word I'm starting to hate. When something bad happened to us, we always blame the situation. Kalau 'situation' tu manusia, aku rasa dia mesti banyak kali keluar masuk hospital. Tak pun, dah booking bilik kat 'Hotel 6 feet under' kena belasah.

But one thing for sure, we should keep reminding ourselves that everything happens for a reason. Allah knows better. The Almighty has a better alternative route for us. We just need to believe and have faith. Nangis memang nangis la. Sakit hati confirm. But at the end of the day, we are left alone to handle our own emotion. Can't expect others to understand us. Nobody will. Two people will never be in the exact situation..

Semua orang marah, semua orang sakit hati, semua orang ada masalah, tapi yang membezakan kita dengan orang lain adalah cara kita menghadapinya..

Actually, I'm writing this because I want to remind myself..

Bin / Binti

Today I received an email from my campus central regarding my graduation processes. I was asked to check my details are correctly entered for the parchment. I read through the sample parchment and my eyes stopped at my name. I know this might sound ridiculous, but I really think the word 'BINTI' should be included in this kind of legal document. Sorryla.. Come on, kalau kita tak kisah pasal nama kita then who should? Plus, it's not like u're going to graduate every day kan? Usually when u fill up the form and asked to write your full name, did u include the word BIN/BINTI? No? Well, I did.

So, lalala I went to the student centre to fight for my 'BINTI'. I took the personal details changes form and wondering where should I put the word 'BINTI'? In the Family Name column? No. That's not my father's name. And I don't want these Mat Saleh to start calling me 'BINTI MOHD' like they did to 'BIN LADEN'. Maybe I should put in the First Name column. No. My name is obviously not NURZA... BINTI. Hmmmm.. Mana ek nak letak? Then I decided to dump the problem to the officer. Let her do the thinking part. Well, they created the not-so-intelligent form, not me. So berbekalkan dengan semangat 'BINTI' I went staright to the counter. Bermulalah proses ayam cakap dengan itik..

Aku keluarkan segala document yang ada kat aku sampailah kad kahwin pun aku keluarkan. Then dia tanya soalan cepu emas yang aku pun pening kepala fikir tadi. So, where should I put the word 'BINTI' in this form? Is it your name or your family name? Adusss.. Aku jugak ke kena fikir..? I told her actually that word represents 'the daughter of', so it is not suppose to be under any column. Mula2 dia macam ternganga kejap, then tiba2 dia excited giler. Laaa.. Makcik ni kenapa.. Tau dia tanya apa lepas tu?

"So, BIN LADEN is actually 'the son of' LADEN? That's obviously not his name right?"

Now it's my turn to nganga. Alaaa makcik ni. Tak bole ke tanya soalan yang senang sikit. Tanyala pasal mamat kerja kat library tu ke, minah yang kerja kat cafe ke. Terus samakan aku dengan Osama Bin Laden. Ish.. But then suddenly I feel like millions of Muslims are standing behind me waiting for my say and fight for their names. Suddenly the heroic feelings start to fill me up. Tiba2 my flowery dress macam bertukar jadi baju askar disertakan dengan topi askar yang stylish. This is my chance to change the Mat Saleh ignorance towards Muslim names.

"Yup. You're absolutely right! His name is actually Osama. We usually use our first name instead of our father's name. And the word 'BIN' is not his father's name either."

"Wow! This is totally new for me! Thank you for bringing up this issue. I should educate the rest. By the way, in this case you still need to provide your passport. I'm sorry."

Baju dah tukar jadi dress balik. Pandai betul. Obviously kena bawa passport kan? Bukannya kat Malaysia, tunjuk IC dah boleh settle. My bad..

Aku sakit..

Hari ni aku sakit..
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otak!!!
APRIL FOOL!!!

Hahaha..

The Aftermath..

This is going to be a long entry.. Last nite masa aku tulis the last entry tu, aku bayangkan itu je la penutup hari kelahiran aku. I didn't expect anything special to happen. Alaaa.. Dah tua kan.. But Lyn (my roommate) and the rest of the housemates gathered in our room and we had pizza as to replace my birthday cake. Even I don't get the chance to blow any candles this year (sah2 tak bole nak stick candles on top of a pizza kan..) but I had a great time last nite. Thank you girls..

Since I am so head over heals with 'True Love' by Fuji Fumiya and Kimu Take (I've put the clip in my last entry) I told Ezzy if he has a guitar, it would be great since he could play that song for me. Ezzy has been aiming to get this Ibanez electric guitar since last month. But he's not sure whether it's a good idea to spend on a guitar. Few times I tried to talk him to get one. Dia cakap, "Nantila k.." :(

Back to the story, after habis makan semua, aku sambung buat kerja. Then dia call kat Skype..

Me: Baby pergi beli barang apa tadi? Lambatnya online..

Dia: Nak tengok?

Tengok dia sengih lain macam. Aku rasa aku tau apa, so aku pun sengih..

Dia: Apa sengih2?

Me: Mana ada sengih..

Dia: Tarrrraaaa..

Guitar!!!! Bestnya!! Ok.. Ada jugak kitorang berdua terfikir kenapa birthday aku dia pulak beli guitar. Tapi tak kisah.. Sebab memang aku suka sangat dengar bunyi guitar.. So he ended up playing the guitar and sang to me the whole night. Yes, he even played the song that I requested, True Love.. Hmmm.. ;)

Around 2 am, dia suruh aku tengok blog.. Pelik.. Bila aku buka, this is what I got for my birthday..

hi babe..happy birthday dear..
moga menjadi isteri solehah, anak yg taat n super mummy :-)

ji ada create new song but melodi still under construction :-)
mcm sinambungan dr the previous Sakura song..untitled but ingat nak letak Sakura II hehe..
sori tak sempat siap..tgh touch up siket so kena tunggguuuuuuuuu....

Terlena ku dibuai angin dingin,
Sayup hati menikmati,
Keindahan wajahmu,
Yang menyejuk mata,
Menghias jiwa,

Senyummu bertebaran,
Merah, putih, hijau, kuning,
Berhembus angin dibawa menari,
Mencorak negeri mentari jingga,
Mekar merimbun di bulan ketiga,

Khabarkan padaku,
Wahai angin musim bunga,
Bahawa dia yang tercantik,
Di antara segala makhluk,
Dialah Sakuraku,
Kau darahku kaulah nafasku,
Kau jantung kaulah nadiku,
Kau jiwa kaulah nyawaku,

Meski masa membatasi,
Terentang luas..
Laut, pulau dan gunung,
Kau kan kembali lagi,
Sakuraku pengikat rindu,
Menguntum subur di halaman kasih.

March 26, 2009 2:57 AM

I was speechless.. Go ahead, role your eyes.. But this is just way too good to be true for me.. I am just another ordinary girl. Sometimes I feel that I don't deserve this kindness. Yup! I am one confused girl with severe inferiority complex..

God really works in a miracle way that we human just have to wait and have faith. Today, I am so grateful to be alive as me.. And to my dearest husband, thank you so much.. I love you with all my heart and soul..

29 tahun bernafas..

Kyouwa watashino tanjoubi desu.. ;)

29 tahun yang lepas, pada hari ini, malaikat telah menghembuskan roh ke satu jasad kecil.. Jasad kecil itu adalah aku..

Iye.. Hari ni adalah hari di mana aku diletakkan di atas dunia. Tahun ni tahun terakhir aku menjadi seorang 'young adults'. Tahun depan angka 2 di depan akan ditukar kepada 3. Tak pernah ada orang bagitau aku yang masa akan berlalu sepantas ini. Seperti semalam rasanya aku dengan riang tirananya menyambut kelahiran yang ke 20 dengan kawan2 seperjuangan. Hmmm.. Tahun ni? Sedih? Tak kuasa dah aku nak layan.. ;)

On the bright side, I had 3 '12 o'clock' wishes.. First, pukul 12 (Adelaide time), kawan2 kat sini and my sister wish. I was hoping that Ezzy will be the first one to wish me. But pukul 1 dia call, dia buat tak tau. Uhuk! Dia lupa.. Tidurlah.. Then, 1.30 dia call lagi..

"Babe.. It's 12 am here in Japan.. So, Happy Birthday Baby.."

Ihiks! Dia ingat rupanya. Apalah Jaja ni. Fikir yang bukan2. ;) Then, sambung tidur lagi.. La la la.. 2.30, my mom text me, "Happy birthday from all of us at home" Hmmm.. Best jugak macam ni.. Hehe. Just imagine if I have someone to wish me in each time zone. Cool eh? But then, bila aku nak tidur? Errr..

So apa manusia 29 tahun ni buat hari ni?

Pagi aku bangun, dapat sms from Ezzy.. "Hey birthday girl.. Gudmorning.."

Girl ke lagi? Hehe. Then pergi kelas macam biasa.. Nothing special. Sama je rasanya macam hari2 biasa. Sementara tunggu my next class, teringin nak makan cake. Went to the cafe, got myself a slice of chocolate cake, balik rumah, on laptop, nyanyi lagu birthday kat diri sendiri then makan cake. Then sepanjang hari layan clip ni sambil pura-pura fokus buat kerja..



Itulah manusia 29 tahun ni buat sepanjang hari ni.. Tapi nak tau satu benda? When I read all the wishes either kat Facebook, blog or phone, aku rasa macam aku tak celebrate sorang2. All my friends are here with me.. ;) So, thank you for all the kind wishes.. U guys are simply the great!

Merah Puteh

Hello.. Aku tengah menyibukkan diri with assignments and all.. Plus, I have no idea what to write. Ezzy has been pressuring me to update my blog. Eeee.. Rindu cakap je la rindu.. Hish!



Ni kira update la jugak kan?

Mengeluhkah?

Hari ini aku penat..
10 tahun mengejar sekeping kertas..

Semakin mampir aku di garisan penghujung,
Semakin hati aku resah..

Kenapa tiba-tiba kehidupan terlampau baik pada aku?
Mungkin ini hanya satu lagi acahan hidup?

Berbaloikah nanti pengorbanan yang disuakan?
Adakah aku akan tersenyum, menangis?

Putus asa bukan perkataannya,
Janganlah kamu dunia melontar tafsir atau menghukumi aku,
Aku hanya penat..

Beri aku masa..
Beri aku peluang..

Hari ini aku tidak mahu menjadi seorang ibu yang cekal..
Hari ini aku tidak mahu menjadi sang isteri yang tabah..
Hari ini aku mahu menangis..
Aku penat..

Miskon..

Aku tengah baca Politics of Contemporary Asian (lagi..??). Tiba-tiba aku ternampak satu gambar yang buatkan aku terus berhenti membaca dan tersengih sorang-sorang..

Yosuke Matsuoka..
Class A War Criminals..
He's one of the evil 'kepala hantu' during the WWII..

Adolf Hitler..

Soalan exam..
Apakah persamaan di antara mereka bertiga..?
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Seriusly aku tak faham apa yang cantik sangat buat macam tu.. Heh heh.. Aku tengah bosan tahap maximum..

Hell Bento!

Hari ni aku tengok cerita Hell Bento untuk kelas Politics of Contemporary Asian. Aku pernah dengar cerita ni sebenarnya. Tapi tak pernah la tengok. Kalau tak silap ada sedikit controversy tentang apa yang disampaikan. Actually dia bukan cerita, it's a 57 mins documentary. Bercerita pasal underground Japanese. Dengan lampu tertutup, nasib baik aku tak berlayar ke Jepun terus. Mula-mula excited jugakla. Cerita pasal Jepun kan. Konon-konon balik ni boleh aku berlagak sikit dengan Ezzy. Teeeeeeeeeetapi.. The first 5 mins je aku berjaya tegak 90 darjah, lepas tu dah hampir ke 45 darjah. Kira ok la tu.. Mat Saleh yang lain siap dah cium meja.. Bila lecturer buka lampu, ramai yang coverline lap-lap meja. Siapa cakap Mat Saleh ni pandai?

Dalam Hell Bento tu adala tunjuk few places yang aku pernah pergi. Sekali je.. Tiba-tiba aku rasa nak mula bercerita pasal trip aku pergi berjumpa Ezzy hari tu. Bukan aku tak nak cerita awal-awal. I just don't want others to think that I like to brag. Especially I went there to see my HUSBAND kan.. Lagi la ringan mulut-mulut 'anonymous' nak mengata aku. So thats why I hold back the idea first. But now aku rasa nak bercerita pulak sebab nanti one sweet day, when Eizwan is big enough to read, at least he can read the exprience his mother went through, right? Lagi pun, this is my space. I should have the freedom to let go anything out of the system. So.. Tomorrow aku start cerita. Hahaha. Punyala panjang lebar menegakkan kebenaran..